Sunday, June 20, 2010

Loss Revisited

On Friday, I found out my boss, mentor and friend is retiring.  

My mother died four months ago today. 

Never did I dream these two things would be so closely linked in my mind and my heart.

My boss witnessed the journey of my mother's decline and my family's desperation.  She supported me through emergency time off, tears at unexpected moments and episodes of misplaced anger and frustration.  

Through it all, she understood, cut me the slack I needed and constantly encouraged me to spend as much time as I could with my mother.  Her kindness through that awful time will stay with me forever. 

My father is in Portland today spending time on the beach with my sister and my aunt.  Mom and Dad talked about making this trip together.  Now he is there without her, on this anniversary of her death, dealing with his own sadness and regret.

If one could only fast-forward this process of grief, move through the stages quickly and resume normal life, how nice that would be.  If only I knew what normal looked like. 

I simply keep moving, searching to create comfort and trust in a future I cannot see.


  1. Sounds like you're having a very difficult time. I wish I could offer you some practical help. But I can only offer you words of comfort. I hope things start to get better for you, and I'm absolutely sure that they will.

  2. ditto here. I wish you well, and will be thinking of you. I know the feeling of just wanting time to fast forward until the pain seems less....

  3. Thank you both for your kindness. Honestly, life is a roller-coaster with many good times and some difficult days. I so appreciate the support I receive from friends that I have never met, but feel connected to nonetheless.



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