Random Seattle Perfumes Revealed

Here are the perfumes I packed for our trip:

Karma by Lush
Vintage Patchouly by DSH
Dune by Dior
Black Aoud by Montale
Iris Silver Mist by Serge Lutens
Jovan Musk
Notre Flore Iris by L'Occitane
Trish McEvoy Sexy 4

We're only in Seattle for three days, and so far, I haven't worn any of them.  Suddenly, it seems morally wrong to wear perfume on the plane.  And interrupting the smells of the city with a frantic application of perfume once I get here just feels...stupid. Who would want to miss the sillage of fish, brats and pasta mixed with the smell of the freshly cut flowers at Pike Place Market, which results in the aroma of piss?  Once I understood its components, the scent was suddenly charming. 

As always, I am delighted to be here and the same thought floods my mind each time I fly into the city, right before we land: 'This is where I belong.'

Tomorrow, we will celebrate the Fourth of July in Seattle (if you also celebrate this holiday, I wish you a wonderful day, too).  Which perfume do you recommend?

Image from paultownend.com

Get Your Own Damn Umbrella

Tomorrow, we're flying to Seattle for a few days to get out of the almost 100 degree weather of our desert home town.  If it doesn't rain while we're there, I'm jumping off the hotel balcony.  Okay, there is no balcony. 

But if there was, I swear I'd do it.

Tonight, we're packing, which means I wander around, throw clothes on the bed and spend most of my time deciding what perfume to take.  If I wasn't sick of thinking about perfume, I'd recite my selections now. 

To help us with this process, B-man put together a packing list on his computer.  Actually, he did this years ago, and it has morphed over time. For example, the list used to have 'blow dryer' and 'iron' on it, but now hotels provide those items.

Yes, I am that old.

Sitting in the kitchen tonight, I'm eating cheese and crackers like it's the last meal I'll ever have when B-man says, 'do you have an umbrella?'

Me: 'Huh?'

B-man: 'Is your umbrella in the car?'

Me: 'I thought you had them.'  (We agreed to take two after an umbrella sharing fiasco the last time we visited The Emerald City.)

B-man: 'No, you always have an umbrella in your car - do you want me to go get it?'

Me:  'Sure, whatever.'

He goes out to the car and comes back in.

B-man: 'Look, it's not my job to get the umbrellas.'

Me: 'I don't expect you to get the umbrellas.'

B-man:  'I don't want to take care of all that.'

Me:  'Fine.'

B-man: 'You have a list.'

Me: 'Great, you take care of yourself.'

B-man hates that I don't follow the list when I'm packing - then I end up needing his sweatshirt or using his deodorant...or wearing his Gris Clair.

Of course, a pre-trip hissy fit is expected.  But now, the umbrella storm has passed and we're on Big Red, drinking wine and having a happy snack.  All is well.

Image from clotheslineblog.com

Embarrassing Things I've Said and Done This Week

Lately, I can't seem to get through one day without embarrassing myself.

Yesterday, I was reminding B-man about a scene from one of my favorite movies, A Few Good Men.  'You know, the one with Jack Lemmon.'

Jack effing Lemmon.

After a polite pause, B-man said, 'I think you mean Jack Nicholson.'

I may never have figured that out on my own.

Earlier in the week, during a conference call, I made what I thought was a reasonable suggestion.  We're asking our nurses to use one system to get medication information, so why don't we consider eliminating the other three, which are much less effective?  Almost simultaneously, everyone on the call yelled said, 'No!'  They went on to give long-winded explanations about how the doctors really needed these systems and we could never, eh-heh-ver take them away.

Jeez, have a cow.

But the most embarrassing has to be the picture I offered our communications department to use with an article about me in our business newsletter.  It's not just any old picture. I had B-man take multiple shots of me in different outfits, at different angles and with different backgrounds.  Only a few made me look like a chipmunk.  We poured over them and picked the best two, one of which I sent to Communications.

Later that day, I received the following e-mail:  'It looks like we're going to need a different picture.'  'We'll arrange to have one taken next week.'

It looks like?  You mean after it was passed around the office and everyone laughed hysterically at my hideousness?  It probably hangs in the boardroom - blown up - with the NO sign, like Ghostbusters.  The best I can hope for now is that they take it down before our next meeting.

What embarrassing things have you done lately?

image from integral-options.blogspot.com

Career Secret #10: Get Ready To Change...Again

As I write this final segment of Career Secrets, I am in mid-transition with my own professional journey.  In March, I accepted a position that placed me in the top tier of a large healthcare organization.  Of course, this was my goal and I prepared myself in every way imaginable.  

Up until now, each step of my advancement was due to my ability to make key contacts and, in so doing, dictate the pace and creativity of my environment. Through repeated success, I felt confident taking this skill into my new role. 

Except - surprise - that's not the skill that is required now.  

Now, instead of overseeing a staff, or making unilateral decisions, my role is one of support and encouragement to our 23 hospitals.  Now, I represent the organization's culture with group discussions, frequent presentations and regular visits to hospital leadership throughout the system.  Now, instead of dictating change, I watch as decisions are made only after they've been passed through numerous committees for approval. 

Even though my income has increased and I have almost endless freedom and flexibility, slowing myself down and learning new ways to make an impact in this environment is the hardest work I've ever done.

Yes, I know, I know.

'OMG, what are you whining about?' (Inner Critic never misses an opportunity)

'What am I supposed to do with my creative energy?'

'Was all of the hard work worth it?'

'Who am I now?'

When you achieve the success you are working toward now, you will ask yourself these questions because the skills required to get to the top are different than the skills needed to succeed once you're there.

Think about the movie, Titanic. 

Remember the guys down under, shoveling coal, making the ship run?  And the musicians who set the mood and capture the environment?  That's you working your way to the top.  Now, think of the captain of the ship, strolling around leisurely, drinking tea and calmly telling others what to do (someone else was supposed to be watching for icebergs...).  That's you at the top.  It takes some getting used to.

Tips for reinventing yourself as you advance to higher levels:

1)  You may have moved your career forward because of what you did, but you will reach top levels because of who you are.  Remember this, and rely on it as you're settling into this new role.  Become your most authentic self.

2)  Ask a lot of questions and make them smart ones.  You know more than you think.  A huge career leap is both exciting and intimidating.  But you didn't reach this level because you know nothing.

3)  Become more personal with your colleagues.  Loosen your boundaries just a bit and share some aspects of your personal life.  It's safer now because the competition has diminished.  And in a role that carries power, revealing more of your true self will put people at ease quickly.

4)  Ask for what you need.  Just because you're new in the role, the organization doesn't necessarily see you that way.  In fact, you are expected to have requests.  Whether it's additional staff, better equipment or inclusion in a decision making council, ask for what you want - you'll most likely get it.

5)  Relax. Take an hour out of your day to go shopping, enjoy a long lunch with your sister or walk through the park midafternoon.  Work from home now and then.  No one's tracking your every move and you've earned some freedom.  So take it with no guilt.

Unforeseen Challenge:  You have just advanced into a high level role, but inside, you feel like a newbie.  To everyone else in the organization, you're a rock star.  Even those who see you as one of the 'suits' can't help sucking up when you're in their presence. They will say things like, 'we're so honored to have you here,' and 'we'll take whatever direction you think we should.'  You will always be invited to address the group, and whatever you say is profound to them.  This will mess with your mind because you are just beginning to understand your new role, and you're treated like royalty simply because you occupy the role.  This disconnect is unsettling, so if you haven't yet sought therapeutic support during your rapid career advancement, I strongly encourage you to do so now.

Most of all, congratulations.  Through your own hard work and smart strategy, you have advanced to the top of your field.  Few people achieve this, so pat yourself on the back and feel good about your accomplishment.  Then begin the work of changing yourself into someone who understands and creates the big picture, a person who is comfortable having both influence and freedom, intimacy and power. 

Now, you are ready and able to ignite the future of your dreams.

Image from robertfagan.com

Career Secret #9: Practice The Art Of Diplomacy

Successful people always say what they mean, but in a way that it can be heard. The higher your career advances, the more important this becomes, whether you are coaching a subordinate, having a difficult conversation with your boss or firing someone. 

Diplomacy is simply a neutral and polite way of reframing your unedited thoughts.  And while the concepts themselves are simple, real diplomacy takes restraint, focus and practice.  No amount of hard work can substitute for this skill. 

Yes, I know, I know.

'Sometimes people need me to be blunt'

'I'm known for being outspoken'

'Aren't leaders supposed to be honest?'

Of course, honesty is important, and I'm not suggesting for a minute that you forfeit the truth when dealing with your colleagues.  However, outspoken and blunt responses will win you the label of 'loose cannon,' limiting your opportunities. Brutal honesty is a rookie mistake that is guaranteed to slow your career progression. 

With a little practice, anything - and I mean anything - can be said tactfully.  Especially when you feel annoyed. Here are a few examples of how to respond diplomatically when the dialogue in your head is reflecting your irritation, but you need to keep an open mind:

'How interesting' = I cannot believe you just said that

'Can you be more specific?' = What the hell are you talking about?

'What exactly does that look like?' = You're still not making any sense

'I've never noticed that' = That's got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard

'Huh' = God, you're boring

'You could be right' = I don't care enough about this issue to argue with you

'Oh, my gosh' = You're shitting me, right?

'Let me give that some thought' = There's no way that's going to happen

'Put your mind at ease' = Stop being a drama queen

'What will you do next?' = This is your problem to solve, not mine

'Wow' = Dude, really?

With these responses, you're not lying and no one is insulted. You are, however, being present in the moment and effectively managing your own judgments.  Later, you can decide whether or not the conversation merits any more of your attention.  If it does, you have the time to craft a thoughtful, objective response.

Unforeseen Challenge:  After having a conversation that requires diplomatic restraint, especially if you are just learning this skill, you may be tempted to vent to a colleague to blow off some steam.  This can damage your career in a couple of key ways.  First, it will communicate that you cannot be trusted because you are talking behind someone's back.  Second, it creates tension in the environment and makes it harder for you to let go of the small stuff, which will only hold you back.  As stated in earlier Career Secrets, if you must vent afterward, talk to your partner, an objective friend outside of work or your therapist.

And by all means, let go of the small stuff.

Mastering the art of diplomacy will show everyone that you can be trusted to perform well when the stakes are high and the results really matter.  So figure out how to respond to anything at all in a way that respects your audience, presents your thoughts in their best light and continues to ignite your career.

Image from robertfagen.com

Career Secret #8: Bring People Together

In order to continue advancing quickly, you will, at times, need the diverse skills and political currency of other people. 

No one is good at everything.

Fortunately, you have already achieved individual success, because the big players will only engage if you have a name they recognize and an established reputation.  Now, you're ready to bring together diverse people and utilize their differences for positive change.

Yes, I know, I know.

'I work best with people who are more like me.'

'I'm not good at managing a group.'

'I prefer working on my own.'

You can argue the virtues of  individual vs. group work through your whole career.  But if you really want to experience the big wins, you must involve others in bringing about your big idea. 

 

Tips to consider when bringing people together:

1)  Five people on a team is perfect.  Involve others as needed, but keep your core group small.

2)  Include as least one Big Player.  In my field of health care, this would be an influential medical director or perhaps our system's most successful CEO.  This person should have a broad sphere of influence in your organization.

3)  Make sure one member of your group is a gifted detail person that can effectively coordinate your project and keep everything on track.  Someone has to schedule meetings, book travel, deal with media and handle catering and technical needs. That should never be you.

4)  Identify the person in the organization you consider your greatest competition.  Is it the charismatic, effective guy that owns every room and that you fear might be a bit smarter than you?  Make him part of your team.

5)  One group member should be a front line employee that deals directly with your customers.  They will be fulfilling the day-to-day work of your idea, so listen to them and learn.  Make sure your idea is compatible with their processes.  Otherwise, you risk failing when it comes time to put your plan into place.

6)  Communicate clearly with your group so they know the boundaries when it comes to decision making.  Give them opportunities to shine, and also emphasize that you will be making final decisions or presenting ideas to final decision makers. Spell it out from the beginning and this will reduce the time you spend managing group conflict.  Never assume they know this.

7)  Prepare to manage group conflict.  Passionate, intelligent people will jockey for position, try to control the process and occasionally tattle on each other.  Realize this is typical of group dynamics, and remember that, if managed well, conflict is the path to brilliance.

8)  When someone acknowledges the success of your endeavor, make sure the first words out of your mouth are, 'thank you.'  Second, acknowledge your team.  Own the fact that the idea, and the process, was designed and lead by you.

Unforeseen Challenge:  Sometimes, even the brightest people will behave like they're in grade school and want you to be their mother.  And if you choose not to take on the role of nurturer and resolver of all petty disputes, you might be accused of 'not dealing with the problem.'  Caving in to this pressure will cause two things to happen.  One, your group members will stop trying to work out their own differences because you have assumed this responsibility.  Two, disputes will actually increase and you will spend a huge chunk of your valuable time attempting to resolve them.  Certainly, I'm not suggesting you ignore serious matters of ethics or policy violation.  However, most group conflict is based on personality differences, and here, your role should be minimal.  After you listen supportively to one group member's complaints about another (she's loud, she's controlling and everyone else in the group thinks so, too...), you might try borrowing my favorite line: 'I'll look forward to hearing how you resolve this issue with her.'  This response places the accountability where it belongs, sets your expectation of the outcome, and allows you to continue moving forward.

Bringing the right people together at the right time can achieve amazing results.  Be honest with yourself about the skills you possess and the strengths you need to gather from others.  Commit to staying grounded and focused, no matter what. Then put your dream team together and utilize their differences to accomplish your goal.  Everybody wins and your career will leap to new heights that surprise even you.

Image from robertfagan.com

Habanita: It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Over the past couple of months, I've been re-introducing myself to my perfumes and wearing some that have been sitting silent for a long time.  Okay, Habanita, I've never actually worn except to play with it on one arm or another at home.  Never outside the house, and never in public. 

But the other day, I ditched a training session that I just could not tolerate another minute.  One more presentation about process improvement and I thought I would jump out the window like the cowardly lion on Wizard of Oz.  Love that guy.

For whatever reason, as I was trolling around in my perfume cabinet, Habanita caught my nose and I decided to make it my scent of the day.  It was the smokiness that got me, that stale cigarette note that matched my rebellious mood. 

After my shower, I spritzed on a bit - not too much - and proceeded to finish my make-up and hair, reveling in the Marlboro magic.  It wasn't until an hour or two later that I began to smell like stale baby powder left on the baby's ass too long.

Ombre Rose squared.

Trying to act like I meant to smell like a dirty baby's butt, I went about my day of shopping, like I didn't see salespeople back away from me and turn up their noses in horror.

Of course, I have to own Habanita because it's a classic like Femme, Chanel #5 and Nuit de Noel.  Even though I hate them all. 

I would, however, like extra perfumista points because I actually wore Habanita in public.

image from ultimatediscountfragrance.com