Please re-think the following topics in your Christmas letter:
1) The Travelogue. So you hiked through Yellowstone and then drove to Colorado and got a flat tire somewhere in Idaho then stayed with your brother in Wyoming and drove on down to see your wife's cousin who just recently came back from California where he.....blah...blah...blah. Your single-spaced essay just robbed ten minutes of my life that I will never get back.
2) Your Grandkids. I'm certain that little Johnny and Sally are precious and fascinating. But only to you. When, exactly, did your own identity disappear?
3) House Remodel. The new insulation in your home, which increased its efficiency, may be the highlight of your year. But it doesn't belong in a Christmas letter. Neither does your renovated bathroom.
4) Religion/Politics. I always knew you were conservative, but now I also know that gay people are just wrongedy wrong wrong. Says so right there in the bible, plain as day. You've stocked up on guns and ammunition this year to protect yourself from those socialist bastards. And the Mexicans are ruining everything. God bless America.
5) Your Perfect Life. Your children are beautiful, brilliant and highly successful. You are a pillar of strength in the community and you and your mate have never, ever had a fight. You've traveled the world this year, never experienced something as pedestrian as a flat tire, and your home has always been immaculate...and insulated. You hope that, somehow in my pitiful existence, I can find a fraction of the bliss that you enjoy every single day.
Your Christmas letter is more than welcome if it informs me (briefly, about You), entertains me or makes me laugh out loud.
Otherwise, a simple card would be lovely.
Picture from thefreemanonline.org