Last night was spent partying with my sisters.
Well, let me rephrase that.
Last night was spent drinking with my sisters.
In about two weeks, it will be one year since Mom died. My sisters and I continue to dog paddle around in conflicting states of mind: sadness and loss, relief and stagnation.
And anger.
Frequently, anger at Mom.
Drinking dulls the guilt of being angry at the dead.
Together, my sisters and I offered each other understanding and support. We said things that can only be said inside the club of us and shared the frustration and indignity of this space we now occupy.
The space between who we used to be and who we will become once the fog clears.
This morning - not exactly hung over, but emotionally and physically spent - I sat on big red with B-man, drinking coffee as we do every morning. So much was churning in my mind that I couldn't engage in our usual chit-chat and couldn't imagine engaging in my work.
While ironing my clothes and pondering the scent of the day, I had an urge to wear something that had been left behind, something far outside of my regular rotation.
A perfume from another time.
First, I considered Rykiel Woman, then Incanto by Ferragamo.
In the shower, it hit me: Heavenly by Victoria's Secret.
Heavenly draws me in with a white floral top note in a cloud of fresh mint. This stage is brief (especially the mint), but the white flowers linger, turning powdery, as if they have been dried, crushed and scattered.
From morning to evening, Heavenly continues to soothe, inviting an afternoon nap followed by a nice cup of tea. The soft throw of its heart notes is as comforting as a pillow behind my back or a blanket over my legs.
Image from royalfragrance.net
Beautiful writing, Josephine.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have a fragrance that brings you so much comfort, especially after a night filled with difficult emotions.
I know the next two weeks will be a difficult time for you and your family, so I hope you can get plenty of those naps, warm blankets, pillows and cups of tea.
Fragrance hugs to you.
Daphne will get you through this if you keep picking the right spritzes for her. Sisters will always help, too, along with alcohol and comfort food and naps.
ReplyDeletePlease tell Daphne thanks for the package.
Hugs.
*jen
JoanElaine, thanks for your kind comment. I'm hoping to get through the next couple of weeks as gently as I can. While the loss never goes away, the one year point does signify a shift of some kind. I welcome that.
ReplyDeleteHi *jen - Daphne is thrilled that you received your package!
ReplyDeleteYes, sisters help a great deal, along with alcohol and comfort food. And, as you say, the right perfume. Daphne will lead the way.
Now there's an interesting advantage to putting a perfume into the archives...to be able to pull it out again and be transported to a different time, or, more importantly, beyond a marker...
ReplyDeleteAs always, wishing you well on your journey.
Hi ScentScelf - it's been fun to go back into the 'archives.' Time is so distorted these days that it's nice to transport myself somewhere else through perfume.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind wishes.
Josephine, I hope you feel better.
ReplyDeleteI still should have somewhere a Dream Angels set. My favorite was Halo. Tomorrow I'll dig it up and try again.
We don't have Victoria's secret here, but I am glad that you were able to draw comfort from this scent.
ReplyDeleteMy doctor actually "prescribed" me red wine after my mother died(!), and I drank it conscientiously and in significant quantities for several months following the funeral, which was also around this time in Feb.
I trust that between them, alcohol, perfume and the company of family and friends will help you weather this difficult time.
Undina, hello and welcome! Thank you for your comment and good wishes. Enjoy your return visit to Halo!
ReplyDeleteHi Vanessa - I love the prescription of red wine. Smart doctor! Looking forward to the time when my sisters and I laugh again together, and I drink wine simply for pleasure. Perfume will accompany all stages.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine Heavenly being a scent you might enjoy.