Monday, March 7, 2011

Rant: Don't Chocolate Me To Death

One more chocolate chip cookie and I might snap.

Not that I eat them.  Some of us aren't crazy about chocolate.

So why do people continue ruining perfectly good cookies by lacing them with annoying little bits
of chocolate?

At work, cookies are provided at certain meetings I attend.  Last week, the cookie selection included:

Chocolate chip cookies
Dark chocolate cookies with chocolate chips
Oatmeal coconut cookies with chocolate chips
Pumpkin cookies with chocolate chips


Would it kill them to include a couple of peanut butter cookies?  Sugar cookies?  Even oatmeal raisin could work (I've become quite adept at picking out the 'buggy' little raisins while preserving the integrity of the cookie).

And just try going to a banquet or any group event without being served some dark chocolate dessert with chocolate filling and chocolate frosting. 

How about some lemon meringue or cherry pie? 


When people hear that I don't like chocolate, they look at me as if I have announced, from a microphone, 'Puppies are Ugly.'  

Some chick flick must have taught us that all women love chocolate like they love receiving fresh flowers.

Yeah, I don't like either of those things.  Flowers and a box of chocolates will just annoy me.

Wait, let me get this spent good money on all that when you could have just brought me cheese?

Chocolate seems to have meaning that goes beyond just food; it communicates a universal message of connection. 

If you eat chocolate, you must be one of us. 

Baaa, baaa.

Aside from the occasional Snickers (the peanuts, caramel and nougat keep the chocolate pinned in the corner, where it belongs), chocolate is not my thing.  

And I'm not alone.

So please, give us a break on the chocolate chip 
cookies, huh?

Image from


  1. I absolutely agree! Enough with the chocolate :)
    Mmm, lemon meringue

  2. I do like chocolate, but who would ruin a perfectly wonderful oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips?!
    And seconding the lemon meringue -- my favourite pie if it's tart enough.

    -- Lindaloo

  3. Avoid the DoubleTree hotel chain at all costs! You will be issued with still warm CCCs (I daren't speak their name...but let's just say that I am not talking County Court Judgements here) before you have made it to the lift.

  4. This made me laugh hard! We grew up in such a Chocolate is Sacred world, devouring a box of Bluebirds with reverence. Chocolate is one of my least favorite desserts now! I think there is a very sexual undertone about it..women who love chocolate love sex, or wish they had more sex, or chocolate, or maybe just a mind of their own!!! Great rant Katy Jo...made me proud!

  5. Hi Marina, lemon meringue pie is the dessert my mother made for my birthday is place of a cake. It has always been one of my favorites!

  6. Lindaloo, I'm with ya - oatmeal cookies are amazing on their own, and even better without raisins...just sayin'.

  7. Vanessa, I have been to hotels like that as well. Usually, these cookies are warm, and the smell is divine, lowering my irritation at the fact that they are chocolate.

  8. *jen, LOL - I know many others for whom this rant would not compute, either.

  9. Hi Mermaid - interesting theory about the chocolate. You could be right! I've always been an outsider to the Chocolate Love Train, however, I might be able to enjoy it in small doses. Being bombarded with chocolate at every turn does get irritating.

    Happy Anniversary, by the way!

  10. I love chocolate, especially dark. I love chocolate desserts. But I still do not understand chocolate chips added to cookies.

  11. Josephine I have to admit that I am one of those that loves chocolate. Must say though that I prefer chocolate straight up, as a bar. I will eat it in other forms, such as a brownie, fondant, cake, etc, but sometimes even for me too much of a good thing can be just that - too much!

  12. Hi Undina - a chocolate lover that doesn't understand chocolate chip cookies...I love it!

  13. Michael, I get what you're saying. If I'm going to eat chocolate - which is rare, I would prefer a small, high quality piece of simply chocolate. But it is rare, and if I have a choice, chocolate never comes out on top.

    A good peanut butter cookie? Always a clear winner.



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