It's weird to realize you're being watched.
Oh, I know, I've already said I like attention, and it's true. Attention is great when it's my idea and I'm working to accomplish a goal.
And comments about my perfume are always welcome.
But the day-to-day observations by my direct reports, and other staff members, wear on me over time.
Last week, on Friday, one of my department leaders asked how I was doing.
'Great,' I replied, which was the truth.
'You sure look less stressed today.'
'Less than what?'
'Than Tuesday,' she said.
I can't for the life of me remember what happened on Tuesday or why I would look more 'stressed' then than on Friday. And what does that even mean, anyway? No color in my face? Bad hair day?
Lettuce in my teeth?
People walk by my office and comment on the fact that I sit at my desk without slumping. They make a big fuss if I wear a different color top. They notice my toenail polish or new earrings.
Fascinating stuff, let me tell ya.
Honestly, I don't notice, or care about, those details on others unless it's really pronounced. Nose hair that is hanging out of one's nostrils will get my attention. So will raggedy flip-flops worn the day our CEO decides to visit my leadership meeting.
Otherwise, not so much.
I'm craving a vacation where I can be an anonymous part of the crowd where no one cares what I wear, what I say, or the color of my toenails. They might observe, but they don't have to tell me about it.
Until then, I suppose the curious will just have to pull up a chair and watch what happens next. Hopefully, I will look 'less stressed' than I did on Tuesday.
image from marlamaraska.com