Thursday, September 15, 2011

Vacation Hissy Fits So Far



Hissy Fit #1:

B-man:  I'm going to put my Dopp kit in your suitcase because mine already weighs almost 50 pounds.

Me:  I thought you were packing light.

B-man:  Well, I'm close to the limit.

Me:  I'm not even done packing yet.  Will you not put anything else in my suitcase?

B-man:  Fine.  Forget it.  I'll just pay the extra fine. (Walks away mumbling under breath.)

Me:  Look, let me get done packing and see how much room I have, then we'll fit your extra stuff in.

B-man:  Okay, fine.

Hissy Fit #2:

B-man:  I tried to eat breakfast, but had to choke it down, so I brought a banana to eat on the plane.  Will you put it in your purse?

Me:  Sure.

B-man: (On the plane):  I'm going to order an orange juice and eat my banana now...yum.

Me:  Cool.

Me:  Um, could you not eat the banana, because I hate the way it smells.

B-man:  Yeah, okay.

Me:  And could you cover up your gum on the napkin cause it's grossing me out.

B-man:  Jesus.

Me:  Sorry.

Hissy Fit #3:

Me: How much longer to Mason City?  My ass is tired.

B-man:  I know, mine, too.  And why is there an f-ing construction sign when there's no construction?

Me:  They're probably sitting in their car laughing at us having to slow down to 55 mph just because they put the sign up.

B-man:  Assholes.

Me:  Total assholes.  

Me:  I feel like Mexican food.

Hissy Fit #4

Me:  This (hotel) room is f-ing freezing.

B-man:  So turn the heat up.

Me:  The sign says 'please leave the unit on cool.'  WTF?

B-man:  I'll call the front desk.

Front Desk:  We'll send someone up.

Someone: How about we just turn everything off so there's no air at all and it just stays where it is?

Me:  That would be just great, but it's freezing in here.

Someone:  Oh, really?

Me:  Yeah, really.

Someone:  Well, how about we start at 68 degrees?

Me:  No, we'll start at 71 degrees.

Someone:  But it will heat the whole building.

Me:  Silence.

Someone:  Okay, let's start there.

Now, B-man and I are drinking wine, enjoying our view of Mason City's Central Park and basking in a 71 degree room.  We'll go out to dinner soon and laugh about our day and probably high-five about our hissy fits.

I'm so glad we're finally here.

image from cfsngay.blogspot.com

2 comments:

  1. Hey glad you made it! I just wanted to say that I am also famous for traveling hissy fits. I have always said that I love to go places but the process of getting there and then having to recreate my comforts of home in a place thats not is fucking annoying and exhausting. Thought of you guys all day....enjoy the trip. Much love from baby sis.

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  2. Hi baby sis! Hissy fits are just part of traveling for us, too. In fact, we consider any vacation incomplete without at least one. I deny being a princess in general, but sometimes, my level of entitlement embarrasses me a little. Thanks for your thoughts - much love back.

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