Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Oh, To Have A Mother Again
I just finished watching, 'Nothing Left Unsaid: Gloria Vanderbilt & Anderson Cooper.' The prevailing feeling I'm left with is...jealousy. I would give anything if my mother and I could have had a similar conversation; an honest reflection on her life, her challenges and her loves...what an absolute treasure that would have been.
As I watched this documentary, all I could think was, 'he has no idea what it will be like when she's gone.' Children imagine the loss of their parents and talk themselves into thinking they will grieve briefly and then go on with life, resilient and whole. But the absence of a parent is profound, and it leaves a permanent hole in the fabric of life, regardless of closeness or conflict. It is the death of one's roots, and if the truth remains unspoken, it is forever haunting.
The truth is, I don't know much about my mother. Her fear of transparency and my insensitive response to her honesty left us virtual strangers. Now she is gone, and the authenticity of her life died with her. This loss will always be with me.
Dear Anderson Cooper: I hope you treasure the great gift of your mother's story. In the end, it's the only thing that matters.
Image from google.com