Missing My Mom Today

Mom and Dad at their 50th Anniversary party

All day long, I've wanted to cry.  That's partly because I'm exhausted and maxed out with my training, but there's more.   Early this morning, on the way into the city, I suddenly felt Mom close by.  This is hard to describe - the awareness of someone who has died sharing my living space - but I felt her nonetheless.

Because I left home much earlier than usual, I didn't make my morning phone call to Dad.  Later on, I sent him a text just to say I was thinking of him and sending my love.  He texted back, telling me how much he missed Mom today, and how this was the strongest he had felt her since she 'left' (he still rarely uses the word 'died').

Our shared experience of Mom's presence made me wonder if she was around my siblings this morning as well.  We are nearing the two year anniversary of her death, so it wouldn't surprise me if she was strong in our minds and hearts as we remember her last days with us.  Dad said he thinks she is near because she misses us, too.

Feeling close to Mom is always a double-edged sword; it comforts my soul and also reminds me just how far away she really is.

photo from mermaidmusing.blogspot.com