Monday, October 4, 2010

Feminist Vegan Wannabe Sunday

Yesterday was spent in multi-media trolling.

Like, the whole day.

First, perfume blogs, then raw food/vegan blogs.  Inner Critic scoffs because I'm not into raw foods and I'm no vegan. Thinking he can just bite me, I spend time making a grocery list of things like flax seed, almond milk and tofu.  

I scroll down one particular site that promises photographs of the delicious vegan meals of the blogger.  Apparently, she has never watched Rachael Ray and learned that You Eat With Your Eyes First. 

Every plate looks like dog shit over greens.  

I kid you not. 

Feeling squeamish, I move on to feminist blogs and take a trip down memory lane to my first year of graduate school when I quit shaving - everything - as a silent protest against the feminine ideal.  

B-man never said anything at the time, and I thought I was the Hot Hairy One.  But one night, years later, as I was thinking back and regaling him with my feminist chutzpah, he interrupted me with, 'um...could you not do that again?'

Suddenly bored with blog trolling, I decide to watch The Hurt Locker.  This movie suits my dark and rogue-ish mood perfectly.  It is followed by four back-to-back episodes of In Treatment.

That has to mean something.

As a  psychotherapist (I almost said 'former,' but the urge to diagnose and analyze never goes away), I love this show and watch it with alternate cringing (a real therapist would never say that!) and envy (damn, I wish I would have said that!).

All this time, B-man is downstairs busting his hump, preparing our rooms for new carpet.  The carpet that was ordered two f-ing weeks ago.  He's painting, moving furniture and re-assembling our weight equipment.

Occasionally, I mosey downstairs, stand with a swayback, scratch my stomach and say, in my best redneck voice, 'wot yi doin' now?'  Actually, I'm not all that interested in what he's doing, I just need a break from eating potato chips, gruyere and ginger snaps.

Hmm.  If not for the gruyere, yesterday could have been my first day as a vegan.

Picture from fotosearch.com

5 comments:

  1. Hilarious!! I love looking at recipes, tearing them out of magazines or printing them off the Internet. A pile has formed on top of the microwave. I even took one into town with me today, but the ingredients-buying part of the trip fell at the butterbean and parsnip hurdle, though I did get cream and curry powder.

    I can relate to those "lost days" - in front of the pc particularly, rather than the TV. It is so easy to spend one's time passively in this technical age, as my bad back and failing eyesight (that's long AND short) would be the first to attest.

    How interesting that you are a psychotherapist...

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  2. And my captcha was "conitiv", which is almost "cognitive", haha!

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  3. I have only watched In Treatment a few times, and that was too much for me.

    As someone who has been in therapy for a long time, watching someone else go through the motions on TV was just as exhausting as being there myself.

    I think they should do cross-over episodes of In Treatment with other shows. They could have Tommy Gavin from Rescue Me, Dexter Morgan from Dexter, and Don Draper from Mad Men in the chair. I would watch that!

    Oh, and "dog shit over greens" - hilarious. I have met many a "french fry vegan", the ones that eat nothing but junk food because most vegan food grosses them out.

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  4. Hi Flitter - Recipe prep can definitely mess with you! I'm a gourmet cook, but only in my own mind. I want to, and some day I damn well will.

    Sunday was lost, alright, but really enjoyable, too. Once in awhile, those 'shut down' days can be very therapeutic.

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  5. JoanElaine, Hi! When In Treatment first came out, I could hardly watch it myself. It came on the tail end of my being a therapist and, at the time, I was burnt out and simply done with it. The show was a bit of a train wreck for me at the time but, somehow, compelling.

    Love your cross-over idea! I don't watch the other shows; Mad Men is one that I keep trying to love, but just can't. It never really grabs me for some reason.

    I can only imagine that many vegans end up with junk food as a steady diet. Reading the ingredients was intriguing, but once I saw how they looked together, I thought, 'oh, hell no.'

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