Sunday, January 29, 2012

Do You Eat Fake Food?

B-man and I have turned into food-label-reading geeks.  This all began as part of our Eating Like the French phase when we realized that much of what we were eating was pretend, fake food.

Have you read any low fat or non-fat food labels lately?  What the hell are all those chemicals?  Real food has a short list of ingredients and all of them are recognizable.  Just because a substance is low in calories and fat doesn't mean it's  

Let's look at low fat mayonnaise, for example.  We have a bottle from our pre-French stage in the pantry that we move from shelf to shelf, periodically reading the ingredients so we can make 'do you believe it?' comments.  This diet wonder includes chemicals that have an asterisk by them and an explanation below that states, 'ingredients not normally found in mayonnaise.'  So where are they normally found?  In asphalt?

If B-man and I weren't also frugal geeks, we would have just tossed the damn mayo instead of eyeballing it like cats ready to pounce if it makes one wrong move.  Fortunately, the expiration date is coming up, which will justify its disposal through some very serious ritual.  Accompanied by wine.  We'll probably name it first to add meaning to the ritual.  And to rationalize opening a better bottle of wine.

Don't even try to out-geek us.

Perhaps one reason French people seem snobby is because they don't want to eat our fake food.  Or maybe they're just assholes.  Either way, it seems like we'd be a lot better off to eat food that came from somewhere real instead of a food-cloning laboratory.  Let's face it, a bit of real mayonnaise never hurt anyone.

image from


  1. I refuse to buy low-fat/reduced-fat products. We won't even buy low-fat milk. I read once that most of the vitamins are in the fat, so they have to add vitamins back in to the skim, otherwise it would just be white water.

    And egg white omelets are a scourge. All the omega 3's are in the yolk!

  2. I have to say that the ingredients lists on American confectionery and foodstuffs generally appear to be noticeably longer than the ones over here. Either that means we have some more concise descriptors, or there are fewer "things" in our food. Tastewise, I have to say that your sliced bread, yoghurts, biscuits, snacks and sweets seem more processed and synthetic to my palate - I know that is a gross generaliation but it is my experience. There is a growing trend to more natural ingredients in convenience foods in the UK, which I certainly welcome, because historically we have had our fair share of E numbers too! : - 0

  3. I grew up with my grandmother's cooking, always fresh meat, vegetables and fruit. It was quite late in my life that I got introduced to fake food (I'm not counting chocolate).
    These days it gets more and more difficult to get rid off food containing fake stuff in your every day life. I try and limit my intake, but can't remove it completely (plus, there is a Croatian company making the best mayo in the world - I eat it very rarely because once you start, you can't stop). :)

  4. Hi Elisa - yeah, we're off any food that is low/no fat. Many other so-called foods have tons of chemicals, which is kind of shocking when one starts paying attention. It feels good to stick to food that is real and that my body can actually process. Thanks for your comment!

  5. Vanessa, I think you're right about our food tasting, and actually being more processed than yours. We've been lulled into eating fast food, low fat food and whatever else passes as food. Once you start eating the real thing, processed food tastes nasty. Great to hear from you!

  6. Hi Ines - you're right, it's hard to get rid of all fake food if you don't pay careful attention. Chocolate is great if there aren't too many chemicals involved...although I'm not necessarily a fan of chocolate. Would love to try your Croatian mayo, though!

    1. I love fake food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im your twin....

  7. "Where are they normally found? Asphalt?"


  8. I've been doing a half-decent job of avoiding fake food, but I still have lots of cravings for it, especially since I've been trying to mostly cut sugar out of my diet. I miss Ding Dongs, for example. And Pringles. And Haagen Dazs ice cream bars - I don't know what their "fake score" is but they're bad for me and I want some. And those crescent rolls that come in a tube.

    So, clearly, the fake food I want, but avoid, is not the lowfat kind. :)

    I'm going to go fry some chicken now.

  9. I loe fake food. I upload em on pinterest!



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