Your Top Three Perfumes - Can You Choose?

Last night, B-man and I were hanging out on Big Red, drinking wine and chatting about ourselves and every random topic on earth.  

It's what we do.

I had just applied Fumerie Turque, which was perfect as we enjoyed an unexpected downpour on the deck.

As we talked, I had a dual conversation in my mind that went something like this:

I wonder if Fumerie Turque would make my top 20 perfumes list, or even my top 10.  And what would happen if I had to choose just three perfumes to live with forever?  Just three...what would they be?

Of course, this isn't a novel thought, or a game I've never played with myself.  I've chosen my top 20, top ten and my top five.  

But never my top three.

Hmmm, that could mean a green chypre, a dark incense perfume and a rose perfume that I could love forever.

Or, how about an oriental classic, a beautiful amber and one perfect fruity floral.

Must ponder...my choices will be revealed on July 4th.

What about you?  If you could have only three perfumes for the rest of your life, what would they be?

image from www.texaslemonlawblog.com

Three Day Cleanse - Kale From Hell

Tonight ends day two of a three day 'cleanse.'

You know that I've been a little...stuck in my fitness plan.  My magazine says this cleanse promises up to five pounds of weight loss in three days.  

Just a nice little nudge to my current plateau.

This is no bizarre, out there, wacko sort of cleanse.  It's not like I'm fasting, or doing some kind of sea salt flush - okay, I've done that - or an enema, for heaven's sake. 

Jeez, give me a little credit.

No, this cleanse is 1800 calories a day of godawful food.  Each day's menu is different, which means - so far - worse than the day before.

But, come on, it's only three days, right?  Now I know why.  Any more than that and B-man would have to coax me off the ledge of the deck.  

With, like, a Happy Snack.

I swear I'll jump. 

And can we talk about kale?  That is some nasty shit.  Brown rice with no salt and pumpkin seeds?  Eating that for lunch today, I almost start crying. 

But here's the kicker.  Many of these recipes are time intensive, so I spend an hour cleaning, chopping, cooking and pureeing only to discover the result is nearly inedible.  It takes work to make food taste this bad.

Tonight, after I dish up my slop kale on a plate, B-man says, with a straight face, 'that looks good.'

For a minute there, I think I have prepared something I can actually consume.  But after several excruciating bites, I put my fork down (seething inside), throw the rest in the garbage and decide that hunger is the best alternative.

If I were sane at all, I would stop this madness and go back to eating a regular, healthy diet.  But now, I'm just pissed enough to insist on finishing all three days.

I don't care about the five pounds anymore.

No freakin' cleanse is getting the best of me.

thebaltimorechop.wordpress.com

Ode to L'arte De Gucci by Gucci

 

Black Cherry Soda

 Baby Shampoo

Wicker Basket

Brandy

Cayenne Pepper

Dark Chocolate

Wet Leather

Image from perfumela.com

Random Thoughts On My Week

Taken right now from Big Red - I never tire of this view

*  Never have we had a more beautiful spring and summer.  Extreme rain followed by sunshine and warm temperatures creates a visual wonderland.

 *  Comparing Montale's White Aoud, Gres Cabaret and Estee Lauder's Knowing on my skin at the same time was an interesting experience.  Sharing sillage like this, they all suck.

*  After a brief investigation, I had to fire one of my key leaders Tuesday.  Later, my boss came to find me and said, 'I want you to clear the rest of your day and go home, relax, drink a glass of wine and come back tomorrow.'  So I did.  Three glasses, actually.  

'Watching you on Big Red could not be more boring.'

*  My dad's youthful spirit inspires me. 

'But wait, I hear someone in the kitchen!'

*  My body continues to get more fit, but Dear God In Heaven, it's taking a long time.  It's been four months since I began this journey.  I'm halfway to my goal.

*  Yellow mustard gives me a headache.

*  My work is a political hotbed right now.  In August, three people will have left my leadership team within a period of three months.  One retired, one resigned and one was fired.  Lots of people looking into my fishbowl.

*  Why do some handsome, well-dressed men neglect to wash their hair every day?  They might look clean from a distance, but up close, they smell...musty.  Buzz kill.

'This is absolutely the last shot - Dad might have chicken!'

*  Resilience is a conscious decision, which is why this week has been one of peppy perfume, a colorful wardrobe and arriving early at the office.  The show goes on.

*  It's hard to believe I'm almost fifty-two.  How will I feel in ten years?  Dad says he still feels like he's 40-something.  So do I.

*  Thank God for weekends.

All photos my own

Perfume Promiscuity

That's it - I'm taking a break from buying perfume.  For the next few months, I refuse to be lured. 

And this time, I really mean it.

10% off?  Oh, hell no.

15%?  Doesn't matter.

20%?  Nope.

25%?  You bastards.

Nevertheless, I plan to be strong, to wear the perfume I already own and purchase samples and decants only if I absolutely have to. 

Guidelines around this are deliberately vague.

When I'm in hot pursuit of the latest 'must have' perfume(s), I immediately toss aside the previous batch that I just had to have.  Like the guy that loses interest as soon as he bangs the girl.

Perfume Promiscuity.

Let's face it: No perfume is as alluring as the one I don't have yet, the one on its way; the One True Perfume Love Of My Life.  

Our hot affair is short lived, and soon I am convinced that I should buy more, using the following justifications:

1)  To round out my collection

2)  To provide material for my blog

3)  So I can continue to share perfume with others

4)  Because the sale is just too good to resist

The question is, why can't I take some time and truly enjoy the perfumes I have?  At some point, they were all The One.  Now, they're just another notch in my perfume cabinet.

Note to self:  Slow down and love the ones you're with.

image from examiner.com

Things I Learned From Riding A Horse

Friday, I rode a horse for the first time ever.  Aside from being a lovely break from the hospital, I learned a few things on our one-hour journey through the beautiful mountains of Sundance.

*  Horses emit their own monster sillage.  It made me feel rough and rangy.  I like that.

*  Horses get cranky, too.  My horse, Chub, was not excited about going on this walk with yet another strange person on his back.  He snorted and groaned and kept looking at me like, 'if it wasn't for you, I could be napping at the ranch.'

*  I like being in control.  Yes, I learned how to use my spurs and reigns to guide Chub.  But a couple of times, he took off on a fast trot.  Just because he could.

*  Don't make the 'giddy up' clicking noise with your mouth unless you want the horse to run.

*  If your horse is cranky, let him stop and take a bite of grass occasionally.

*  Confident posture matters.  Sometimes, the first step to success is acting like you know what you're doing.

*  Make sure your hat has a stampede string, because it will blow off your head with the slightest breeze. 

*  There is comfort in riding single file with others. 

*  Listen to the 10-year-old ranch hand behind you - he'll offer the best riding tips you'll ever receive.

*  Realize that if a 10-year-old can do it, so can you.

*  Take ibuprofen before and after you ride.

*  Your ass may not be sore until the next day.

*  Crossing an item off my Bucket List is satisfying.

Image from ravensteed.com

Happy Father's Day

Dad, Mom, Big Sis and Me - 1965