Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Why Is It?

For the record, I don't feel inspired at all.  No perfume thoughts, no touching life moments (the puppy picture's as good as it gets).

So today, I offer a trip inside my mind. 

Welcome to my world.

Why is it that really large people often drive really small cars?  A simple fender bender and they will squish out the windows like a marshmallow. 

Why is it that, out of the millions of black camisoles I own, the one I am most likely to grab and put on is the light lavender.  This emphasizes my love handles, plus I can't take Paige outside to pee because the neighbors will see my nipples and belly button through the cami.

Why is it that apples, with all their nutritional value, just make me want to fart?

Why is it that the new administrative intern thinks he knows everything there is to know about the hospital?  He's like...twelve.  Eat a Popsicle, shut your mouth and you might learn something.

Why is it that the meetings I bust my ass to attend on time are always the ones that are ten minutes late getting started?

Why is it that a stylist can be superb at cutting hair, then style it like a 1950's shampoo set?  Just cut it, then hand me the blow dryer and no one gets hurt.

Why is it that B-man and I don't fight about big stuff, but about meaningless stuff, like the smell of bratwurst?  Eww.

Why is it that families donate hideous artwork to the hospital - that they spent thousands to have created - instead of just donating the thousands, which could actually help another child?

Why is it that the fabric flaw in my great new pair of sale pants is always discovered after I've removed the tags and thrown away the receipt?  Why can't I notice that in the store?

Why is it that, during the 5 minutes I'm enjoying my afternoon pear, Stinky Guy from engineering drops by my office to tell me about a new remodel project?  For the next hour, my office smells like feet.  

Why am I sharing these random thoughts with you?

Just because.

image from


  1. "Why is it that a stylist can be superb at cutting hair, then style it like a 1950's shampoo set? Just cut it, then hand me the blow dryer and no one gets hurt."

    YES! I can't cut the back of my own hair, so go to a woman who can, but I always have to fix the bangs. And that's just my pixie cut. When my hair was longer, I consistently inspired any stylist I visited to blow and sculpt my hair into a Farah Faucet poofy wave, even in this century. And as you point out, the cuts were usually wonderful - but the styling was insanity.

  2. *jen, I'm glad you relate! I've cut my own hair for years (used to be a stylist in another life long ago), and if I keep it short, it's easier to just do on my own. For two reasons:

    1) Stylists drive me nuts with their inane questions. 'Do you have children?' 'Where do you work?' 'Have you taken any trips this year?' OMG, just shut up and cut my hair.

    2) The shampoo/set styling, and coming home and having to adjust an $80 haircut. That pisses me off.

    Now that my hair's short again, I announced to my husband (after the third adjustment to my latest cut) that I'm going back to doing my own hair. It's just too frustrating otherwise.



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