Thursday, September 15, 2011

Vacation Hissy Fits So Far

Hissy Fit #1:

B-man:  I'm going to put my Dopp kit in your suitcase because mine already weighs almost 50 pounds.

Me:  I thought you were packing light.

B-man:  Well, I'm close to the limit.

Me:  I'm not even done packing yet.  Will you not put anything else in my suitcase?

B-man:  Fine.  Forget it.  I'll just pay the extra fine. (Walks away mumbling under breath.)

Me:  Look, let me get done packing and see how much room I have, then we'll fit your extra stuff in.

B-man:  Okay, fine.

Hissy Fit #2:

B-man:  I tried to eat breakfast, but had to choke it down, so I brought a banana to eat on the plane.  Will you put it in your purse?

Me:  Sure.

B-man: (On the plane):  I'm going to order an orange juice and eat my banana now...yum.

Me:  Cool.

Me:  Um, could you not eat the banana, because I hate the way it smells.

B-man:  Yeah, okay.

Me:  And could you cover up your gum on the napkin cause it's grossing me out.

B-man:  Jesus.

Me:  Sorry.

Hissy Fit #3:

Me: How much longer to Mason City?  My ass is tired.

B-man:  I know, mine, too.  And why is there an f-ing construction sign when there's no construction?

Me:  They're probably sitting in their car laughing at us having to slow down to 55 mph just because they put the sign up.

B-man:  Assholes.

Me:  Total assholes.  

Me:  I feel like Mexican food.

Hissy Fit #4

Me:  This (hotel) room is f-ing freezing.

B-man:  So turn the heat up.

Me:  The sign says 'please leave the unit on cool.'  WTF?

B-man:  I'll call the front desk.

Front Desk:  We'll send someone up.

Someone: How about we just turn everything off so there's no air at all and it just stays where it is?

Me:  That would be just great, but it's freezing in here.

Someone:  Oh, really?

Me:  Yeah, really.

Someone:  Well, how about we start at 68 degrees?

Me:  No, we'll start at 71 degrees.

Someone:  But it will heat the whole building.

Me:  Silence.

Someone:  Okay, let's start there.

Now, B-man and I are drinking wine, enjoying our view of Mason City's Central Park and basking in a 71 degree room.  We'll go out to dinner soon and laugh about our day and probably high-five about our hissy fits.

I'm so glad we're finally here.

image from


  1. Hey glad you made it! I just wanted to say that I am also famous for traveling hissy fits. I have always said that I love to go places but the process of getting there and then having to recreate my comforts of home in a place thats not is fucking annoying and exhausting. Thought of you guys all day....enjoy the trip. Much love from baby sis.

  2. Hi baby sis! Hissy fits are just part of traveling for us, too. In fact, we consider any vacation incomplete without at least one. I deny being a princess in general, but sometimes, my level of entitlement embarrasses me a little. Thanks for your thoughts - much love back.



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