Tuesday, January 28, 2014

If You're Gonna To Buy It, You Gotta Use It

Inner Farm Girl and Inner Critic have joined forces.  Together, they have decided that if I'm going to buy like a mad woman at the Bath and Body Works semi-annual sale, I better figure out how to use it.  It's the only way they will unfold their arms and stop glaring.  God, they just wear you down.

Somehow, I ended up with a full dresser drawer of lotions, body sprays, travel size stuff and mini perfumes.  I've learned that different items are offered at different times through the 3-week sale, so one trip just isn't going to cut it.  On my last visit, I walked through the door and the SA said, 'Wow, you're back again.'  Damn right I'm back.

Plus, I change my mind about stuff.  For example, I ended up with tons of Midnight Path products: body lotion, body spray, eau de toilette, body oil and body butter.  Later, I figured out that MP was best to sleep in.  In fact, it's amazing sleep lotion.  Not so much a day lotion.  So I had to take some of it back and swap for other stuff.  Some of which I also took back and swapped for other stuff.  Hey, is 100% satisfaction guaranteed or not?  Says so right on the receipt.

After realizing that I would have to up my consumption to use the lotions (at least!) before the next sale in June, I began a new morning ritual that's actually working quite well.  Here's how it goes:

First, I work out early in the morning (starting at 4:45 - 5:00).  Wait, let me define 'work out.'  This consists of walking leisurely on the treadmill for up to 20 minutes while I drink a large glass of my water/juice blend. Then, I do a few stretches if I don't change my mind, and top off this vigorous session with a downward dog that is downright embarrassing.  You can imagine the sweat.

After coming upstairs, I lotion my whole body with - say - Forever Sunshine lotion.  Then I top that with Pink Chiffon body oil, after which I apply Honey Sweetheart sparkling body spray.  I put on my favorite sweats and settle in on big red for coffee.  Imagine those gloves you wear to bed after greasing up your hands.  Same concept, but full body.  Each day, I change up these combos but in the end, I always smell amazing.  B-man will make some comment, like 'you always smell amazing!'  See, that's how I know.  By the time I shower and get ready for work, my skin is soft and Daphne, my nose, is ready to take on the world.

Inner Farm Girl is feeling comfortable enough to go about her business, but Inner Critic is hanging back, squinting at me like he doesn't quite trust this plan.  Dude, relax and unfold your arms. 

image from kottke.org

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