Mom's Lotion

Me, JD and Dad on the deck after dark

Dad came for a visit last weekend for the first time since Mom died.  Everyone was over Friday evening for Soup Night.  Out on the deck we talk, reminisce, laugh and drink wine.

Dad still sees Mom everywhere that they have been together.  She was in our home not that long ago. 

He spends the night Friday.  B-man and I wake up early Saturday because we're both morning geeks.  When JD was little, he would yell, from his bedroom across the hall, 'Guys, be quiet, I'm trying to sleep!'  This is understandable because B-man and I were awake, talking and laughing well before the alarm went off.  

Luckily, Dad is also a morning person, and I hear him rambling around downstairs early, long before he comes up for coffee.

Then, I hear the shower running.

Soon, he emerges, squeaky clean and cute as anything in khaki pants and a deep blue collared shirt.  When he reaches the top of the stairs, we greet each other and hug.  He smells good, but not like cologne, just fresh.

We're sitting on the deck - over coffee - in the cool mountain air when Dad says, 'Did you notice Mom's lotion?  I put it on this morning after I showered.'

'I just noticed you smell good,' I say.

'Well, it was on her make-up table, so I brought it with me,' Dad says.  'I missed her so much last night and this morning, I can hardly stand it.'  

The depth of Dad's loss and loneliness, after 53 years of marriage, is more than I can comprehend.

'Tell me about her lotion, Dad, what kind is it?'  He insists on finding the bottle and reading the label.  'It's Optimism Aromatherapy by Bath and Body Works.'

'The scent is Bright Blossoms,' he says.

I am touched by his attempt to channel Mom through wearing a scent he must have smelled on her many times.  He doesn't care if it smells like flower blossoms, it reminds him of her.

Watching my father endure great pain and slowly emerge again has emphasized what I've always loved about him; his kindness, his open mind and his resilience.  Getting to know him again now, as we all rebuild and regroup, is one of the great gifts of my life.

Thank you, Dad, for your sweet remembrance of 
our mother.

Picture taken by B-man last Friday