Saturday, August 6, 2011

Happy To Be, Well...Happy


Free Day Brunch: Veggie burger with melted cheddar cheese, whole wheat angel hair pasta, marinated artichoke hearts and fresh salsa    

Yesterday, as I read a post from this time last year, I was struck with one thought: Wow, what a difference a year makes.

Maybe it's because I'm healthier and my body is changing in positive ways.  Maybe it's because the weather is stunningly beautiful this summer; not too hot, with regular thunder and cloudburst drama.

Or maybe it's simply because almost a year and a half has passed since Mom died and I'm beginning to feel like myself again.

Driving to work one day this week, I got the impression that Mom was happy, too.  This comforted me because she always struggled with depression, insecurity and fear.  I believe she had moments of happiness, but much of her time and energy was spent dealing with her own anxiety, which was difficult for her and for us.

Now, I sense she's happier.  Of course, I might just be projecting my healing onto her.  That's okay, too.

A year ago, I couldn't envision feeling this way ever again.  I was afraid that part of me was gone forever, lost to the black hole of grief.  But today, my gratitude for life and love is simply through the roof.

Finally, my 6-year-old self, who would spin with joy for no particular reason, has returned.

Photo my own

2 comments:

  1. Josephine, I am truly glad that a year has made the difference for you and I hope you continue to go from strength to strength.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michael, thanks for your kind wishes. It does feel good to have made it through that first, darkest time following my mom's death. Your encouragement is much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete

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